Funny Text messages

*NEWSFLASH* Snow White has been chucked out of Disney Land. She was reported to have pulled up her skirt, sot on Pinocchio's face and shouted "LIE BASTARD LIE"
2 cannibls are eating a clown. The first cannibl turns to the other and says does this taste funny to U?
Q: What will a blonde ask you if you tell her she's pregnat? A: "Is it mine?"
What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!
The longest sentence known to man: "I do."
mirror mirror on the wall whose
the firest of them all
the mirror laughed and gave a howl
its not u, u ugly cow
Tell me, is it going in? YEAH. is it hurting? oh yeah ouch its huring.OH i will put it slowly. still
hurting?.Aah Yeah.then lets try the other SHOE SIR!
Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering

What sexual position produces the ugliest offspring?

ASK UR MUM!

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience
What's the diference between a blonde girl and a mosquito? If you slap a mosquito it stops sucking!!!
Man pinches wifes breasts and says if we firm these up we can get rid of the bra. Wife grabs his penis & says if we firm this up we can get rid of the milkman.
Boy asked his mom "is it wrong to have a willy?""No why"she replies."Well dads sweating like fuck trying 2 pull his off"
how do you confuse a wanker?.........................a.32
A peach is a peach. A plum is a plum. A kiss aint a kiss unless its wiv tongues. So open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give ur tongue some exercise
T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u.not even a network
 
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